HOW I TAKE A BREAK AS A SINGLE PARENT – Yes WITH my kids (Part 1)

No babysitter? No problem!

Is a break just a myth for solo parents? Some unattainable fantasy? A laughable idea? As a solo parent, burnout isn’t just very real, it’s inevitable. Because let’s be honest – no matter how much you love your kids, parenting 24/7 can still absolutely obliterate you.

When I hit that wall and the overwhelm starts creeping in, I don’t wait for a village to magically appear. I declare what I call a Sloth Day. My kids are with me 24/7. I used to feel like I would never get a real break – the light at the end of the tunnel felt 18 years away. I had to re-frame what ‘taking a break’ meant to me. It couldn’t mean time alone like it used to. It had to mean creating the mental space I was craving, even while physically parenting. 

So what is a Sloth Day?

A sloth day is a radical act of survival. It is truly an art form. It’s the art of pressing pause on everything while your kids are still very much present. This isn’t about lowering standards – it’s about eliminating them entirely. Nothing will be cleaned. No progress will be made. Screen time? As you wish. Content restrictions? Relaxed. The goal? Parallel existence with minimal interaction. 

This is not easy to achieve, it takes preparation, determination, practice, and most importantly, cooperation. Every child is so different in how much they can (or will) cooperate. What’s worked well for me is explaining everything to my kids – clearly and in an age appropriate way. My two year old would understand, “Mommy needs some time to rest while she’s awake”. My seven year old gets what I mean when I say we need a sloth day. 

What are the rules of Sloth Day?

We will not leave the house. I will not brush or do hair. No shoe finding missions. No leashing the dog. No errands, no outings, no plans. No answering the door. No answering the phone. Guilt has no place here. 

This takes quite a bit of training. And it just gets better and better as your kids get older. Teach them the benefits of getting up in the morning without waking you up! When I had a little one who couldn’t roam freely, I used a baby gate and prepped a safe area the night before. Set yourself up for success!

Now, my kids build a fort in the morning. They then spend the rest of the day living like squirrels preparing for winter, only exiting their nest to forage from the stash I’ve left them. They spend hours stockpiling snacks, pillows, blankets, markers, tablets.. 

For the littles to successfully accomplish this day without your involvement, you must prepare. Your preparation will refine and improve over time until you can essentially render yourself useless to your offspring. 

How do we prepare?

• They get one spill proof water bottle each no matter age (Because no, I will not get up and get you a cup)
• Paper plates, plastic cutlery, disposable containers.. You get the idea. 
• A picnic in the fridge ready to grab as they please – pre-cut meats, cheeses, fruits, veggies, oat bars, chips, crackers, treats – anything grab and go that they won’t be tempted to complain to you about. 
• A roll of paper towels and a half-empty cleaning spray (trust me, never the full bottle) within their reach. You make a mess, you clean it. 
• Baby gates and playpens if you still have littles who roam your home like tiny drunk burglars.

I’ll be honest with you – when my oldest was around 6, I started bribing her not to instigate trouble with her sister on Sloth Days. (The youngest gets her own bribes – fair’s fair). Would this backfire with some kids? Absolutely, every family is different – had my parents tried this, I’d totally have taken advantage. But in our house, it’s just survival economics.  

The real key is training yourself not to feel guilty. Do not feel guilty for needing rest. Do not feel guilty for parallel living instead of actively engaging for a day. You are not neglecting your kids, you are teaching them independence while preserving your own sanity. From your kids’ perspective, sloth days are a treat – less rules, less nagging, better snacks, and a happy mom. Win-win. Let them be independent and enjoy that autonomy. If they are engaged and set up to be independent, they will leave you alone without realizing they are, because they’re content. 

Sloth Days are not a luxury. They are a necessity. Re-framing ‘a break’ as mental space changed everything for me, maybe it could help you too! Rotting in my PJs intentionally one day without guilt gives me the mental space to show up stronger, more engaged, and be more productive the next. Because let’s be real, if the Captain is drowning, the whole ship goes down. Kids don’t need a martyr – they need functional humans! Sloth Days save me from becoming a cautionary tale. 

Don’t schedule Sloth Days – feel them out! 

I don’t plan these days in advance. I can feel when I need one. Sometimes we have two in a month, sometimes we go four months without thinking about it. The important thing is knowing when it’s time and giving yourself permission to take it. It can feel unproductive at first. But the truth is when your mental health thrives so does everything and everyone else in your household. 

This won’t be perfect the first time (or the fifth). But with practice, your kids will adapt. When my youngest was 2 we were close to smooth sloth days but hadn’t quite perfected it yet. Once the youngest turned 3, everything clicked. The key? Listen to your burnout. When it whispers, ‘You’re running on fumes’, don’t negotiate. Declare Sloth Day.

Solo parenting isn’t a sprint—it’s a marathon with no finish line. And sometimes, the only way forward is to stop. 

*Disclaimer – Every family is different. What works for us may not work for you, and that’s okay. If this even sparks an idea, or helps you rethink your ability to rest as a solo parent, then I hope it finds you.